Moms worry about their children. It is no secret, but when it comes to development the emails we receive about what to expect and what our children should be doing is sometimes enough to tie you into knots. They have a disclaimer that each child is different. Surely this is true and we see it every day, so why do these expectations about progress keep us up at night?
For me it began recently when I realized Brenton is not babbling with consonants. At 6 months many babies are stringing together mamamamas and dadadadas and bababas. Baby B is 7 months and although he is verbal he is not babbling in this way.
I spoke with my husband about my concern about his language development and since he cares for Brenton during the day he began some additional exercises to spurn his progress. We implemented some baby sign language as well. He loves the sign for happy baby. After all he is one happy baby. We speak to him directly and read to him frequently and have since birth. Still no babbling.
He squeals with delight and smiles and laughs in ways that melt my heart. He also babbles with vowel sounds. This should be enough, but in the days of increased diagnosis of autism and learning disabilities I find myself jumping to the worst case scenarios. Just as I get myself into this dark and scary place my son will do something new. He can stand up and hold onto the table now.
It is incredible how this unrelated task can make me feel better about his development. Perhaps he is just putting his focus into the physical endeavors. Regardless I have a happy baby and that should be enough. I wish I could definitively say that I will not have these moments of concern again; however, I cannot make such a bold statement and I can only claim that these mom worries come from a place of deep love for my child and a hope for a relatively easy and happy existence.
I rest assured that I take joy in his milestones that he has reached and he has surprised me with meeting some ahead of schedule. Clearly he does things in his own time. My husband reminds me I will one day look back and long for the days when he was unable to speak. I laugh and think about my own mother who probably wished for that during my belligerent teen years.
Secretly I continue to repeat over and over to my beautiful baby B….mamamamama. It is my shameless plug to say my “name” first. This will inevitably lead to his first word being dada, but I can live with that as long as he remains my happy baby.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Road Trip: Oriental, NC
After a five hour drive from Charlotte we rolled into the very tiny town of Oriental, North Carolina. This is where my parents have decided to retire. They have lived there for 5 years now building their dream home on a lot with a water view. It is pretty perfect and they love it.
It hit me as we pulled into the driveway the last time I was here the baby that was in the backseat would soon be six months old was only 7 weeks gestation. It is amazing how quickly the time goes by. I was so excited to show him his grandparents home.
He was instantly more at ease in the house than he was in the hotel. He knew this place somehow. I think he could feel this was his grandparents home. He knows them well after all they can never stay away from us too long and for that we are grateful.
The next two days were spent lounging and relaxing after our busy time in Charlotte. It was a welcome relief to just be calm and quiet. The baby was back to a regular bedtime and even taking naps. This was a vacation!
Baby B had the chance to meet some of my parents dear friends. He also went for a ride on the Applecrate my father’s monk 36! We went to New Bern and had lunch at Persimmon on the water. He went to the Trawl Door and also the Toucan. He was all about town and he did so well.
He turned 6 months old while he was in Oriental and I truly enjoy that this milestone was reached at his grandparents home wearing his Oriental, NC onesie! The half year is a special one although I marked each monthiversary thus far. He is so miraculous at this age. Sitting and smiling and grabbing and giggling while his eyes shine. We have been through so much already and the journey is just beginning.
After a fabulously relaxing visit we were back on the road for the 8 hour trip back home. After 4 stops we arrived at 5pm. It was a wonderful trip, but so good to be home.
We put the baby in his jumperoo and he jumped and jumped and jumped. We should have brought that rather than the pack and play in retrospect, but traveling with a baby is a live and learn experience really just like any other day with a baby. We did it. We all survived baby’s first road trip!!!
It hit me as we pulled into the driveway the last time I was here the baby that was in the backseat would soon be six months old was only 7 weeks gestation. It is amazing how quickly the time goes by. I was so excited to show him his grandparents home.
He was instantly more at ease in the house than he was in the hotel. He knew this place somehow. I think he could feel this was his grandparents home. He knows them well after all they can never stay away from us too long and for that we are grateful.
The next two days were spent lounging and relaxing after our busy time in Charlotte. It was a welcome relief to just be calm and quiet. The baby was back to a regular bedtime and even taking naps. This was a vacation!
Baby B had the chance to meet some of my parents dear friends. He also went for a ride on the Applecrate my father’s monk 36! We went to New Bern and had lunch at Persimmon on the water. He went to the Trawl Door and also the Toucan. He was all about town and he did so well.
He turned 6 months old while he was in Oriental and I truly enjoy that this milestone was reached at his grandparents home wearing his Oriental, NC onesie! The half year is a special one although I marked each monthiversary thus far. He is so miraculous at this age. Sitting and smiling and grabbing and giggling while his eyes shine. We have been through so much already and the journey is just beginning.
After a fabulously relaxing visit we were back on the road for the 8 hour trip back home. After 4 stops we arrived at 5pm. It was a wonderful trip, but so good to be home.
We put the baby in his jumperoo and he jumped and jumped and jumped. We should have brought that rather than the pack and play in retrospect, but traveling with a baby is a live and learn experience really just like any other day with a baby. We did it. We all survived baby’s first road trip!!!
Ritzy Baby
A few weeks ago my little man went on his first road trip. Just a few days shy of 6 months old we hit the road for Charlotte NC. I was working for 3 days and we determined it would be a good time to bring the family to my company’s hub and then swing over to my parents on the coast.
Sunday night we packed up the car with the necessary baby gear and two large suitcases. Included in the extravaganza of baby gear was the following shameless list of items. Stroller, Pack and Play, bouncy seat, and all the toys we could manage to bring that would keep him entertained without taking up to much space. We also of course brought the essentials as well. It just fit!
Once we were on the road Baby B was content. He slept for two hours then woke then we went for another 30 minutes without a place to stop and then he went back to sleep, so we pushed on. My fearless husband behind the wheel making excellent time.
Finally we could go no farther, so we stopped to feed and change the baby and walk him around in the Virginia rest stop that ate our $20 bill in the vending machine! No food for us and it was already past noon. In my hustle and bustle I had forgotten grown up snacks. But as you know if your nursing the baby is always easily fed, so the rest is moot.
Back on the road for another two hours with a sleeping baby. It was time to eat even though he still slept. We stopped at a Hardees and grabbed a quick bite at which point the baby was awake and whamming so changed him and we put the bouncy seat in the front of the car and I made it to the back to entertain his brain and feed him a bottle.
Another two hours had passed of me shaking rattles and toys and feeding a bottle in between. Then another stop to feed and change baby B. He was happy most of the trip save a few bouts of crying that lasted between 5 and 15 minutes. Not bad for a 9 hour trip with 4 stops.
We rolled into the driveway of the Ritz Carlton in Charlotte, NC a little after 7 just as we planned! That’s right me and my blended family at the Ritz. We were met by the valet and the doormen and bellman anxious to assist with the unpacking of our crammed vehicle. We were already a hit with the staff because of the baby and our long journey.
I checked in with the baby while the hubs coordinated the rest. After a quick elevator ride we collapsed onto the king sized bed on the 16th floor and awaited the arrival of our bags. We made it!
The bags arrived and I unpacked us as quickly as possible. I must interject that the pack and play was a fail for this trip. It served only as a changing table and even rarely at that. Any how we ordered some room service and ate while the baby played. He was full of unexpelled energy! Then to bed for all of us. I was road weary and working the next day.
Off to conduct my first training session since returning from maternity leave was a wonderful reunion with coworkers I’d missed. I was a little off my game initially when facilitating, but then it all fell into place. Rolston and the baby were off to the museums, but not before purchasing an $80 belt. That’s right a very expensive packing oversight.
They went all over Charlotte together. A father and a baby in a stroller. The African American museum, the museum of the new South, the Betchler, and even the NASCAR hall of fame. They even stopped on the last day to have lunch with me and my colleagues. Baby B was a star and behaved through the entire meal.
On this final day we ended a little early and as a family we went to the pool at the hotel. Baby B’s first time “swimming”. He was unsure at first and then relaxed into the water and kicked his little legs. He was a natural, enjoying the water just like his parents.
Next was a leisurely meal at my favorite Charlotte restaurant called Harvest Moon. It’s farm to table and I adore it. We sat outside in the warm evening air and the owner came out to meet the baby. She fawned over him and he smiled at her. It was a lovely end to the first leg of our vacation.
We packed up and went to sleep and in the morning called the bellman to assist with all the gear. We packed up and again it all just fit. On our way out of the driveway they called, “Bye Jersey!” and we were off to Oriental, NC to see the grandparents.
Sunday night we packed up the car with the necessary baby gear and two large suitcases. Included in the extravaganza of baby gear was the following shameless list of items. Stroller, Pack and Play, bouncy seat, and all the toys we could manage to bring that would keep him entertained without taking up to much space. We also of course brought the essentials as well. It just fit!
Once we were on the road Baby B was content. He slept for two hours then woke then we went for another 30 minutes without a place to stop and then he went back to sleep, so we pushed on. My fearless husband behind the wheel making excellent time.
Finally we could go no farther, so we stopped to feed and change the baby and walk him around in the Virginia rest stop that ate our $20 bill in the vending machine! No food for us and it was already past noon. In my hustle and bustle I had forgotten grown up snacks. But as you know if your nursing the baby is always easily fed, so the rest is moot.
Back on the road for another two hours with a sleeping baby. It was time to eat even though he still slept. We stopped at a Hardees and grabbed a quick bite at which point the baby was awake and whamming so changed him and we put the bouncy seat in the front of the car and I made it to the back to entertain his brain and feed him a bottle.
Another two hours had passed of me shaking rattles and toys and feeding a bottle in between. Then another stop to feed and change baby B. He was happy most of the trip save a few bouts of crying that lasted between 5 and 15 minutes. Not bad for a 9 hour trip with 4 stops.
We rolled into the driveway of the Ritz Carlton in Charlotte, NC a little after 7 just as we planned! That’s right me and my blended family at the Ritz. We were met by the valet and the doormen and bellman anxious to assist with the unpacking of our crammed vehicle. We were already a hit with the staff because of the baby and our long journey.
I checked in with the baby while the hubs coordinated the rest. After a quick elevator ride we collapsed onto the king sized bed on the 16th floor and awaited the arrival of our bags. We made it!
The bags arrived and I unpacked us as quickly as possible. I must interject that the pack and play was a fail for this trip. It served only as a changing table and even rarely at that. Any how we ordered some room service and ate while the baby played. He was full of unexpelled energy! Then to bed for all of us. I was road weary and working the next day.
Off to conduct my first training session since returning from maternity leave was a wonderful reunion with coworkers I’d missed. I was a little off my game initially when facilitating, but then it all fell into place. Rolston and the baby were off to the museums, but not before purchasing an $80 belt. That’s right a very expensive packing oversight.
They went all over Charlotte together. A father and a baby in a stroller. The African American museum, the museum of the new South, the Betchler, and even the NASCAR hall of fame. They even stopped on the last day to have lunch with me and my colleagues. Baby B was a star and behaved through the entire meal.
On this final day we ended a little early and as a family we went to the pool at the hotel. Baby B’s first time “swimming”. He was unsure at first and then relaxed into the water and kicked his little legs. He was a natural, enjoying the water just like his parents.
Next was a leisurely meal at my favorite Charlotte restaurant called Harvest Moon. It’s farm to table and I adore it. We sat outside in the warm evening air and the owner came out to meet the baby. She fawned over him and he smiled at her. It was a lovely end to the first leg of our vacation.
We packed up and went to sleep and in the morning called the bellman to assist with all the gear. We packed up and again it all just fit. On our way out of the driveway they called, “Bye Jersey!” and we were off to Oriental, NC to see the grandparents.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Starting Solids
There was a time I thought I would not feed my baby solids until he was at least six months old. That changed like most of the stringent beliefs I have held about raising my child. Around the 4 month mark when the pediatrician said I could begin and I was up each night to nurse 4 or more times, I began to come around.
Everyone told me I would know when he was ready for food. They kept reassuring me, but I didn’t know. It was not clear to me. Sure he was sitting in his high chair holding his head up and playing with a spoon, but he did not clearly tell me he was ready. I believe it was I who was ready and we started with organic whole grain rice cereal.
After the first go we determined it was not time quite yet and waited another week. What a difference a week made. He moved the food to the back of his mouth and swallowed leaving barely a remnant on his bib. He grabbed the spoon and fed himself. This was what people meant. He was ready.
I was thrilled by his reaction to food and even more that he dropped one nightly nursing session. He ate his dinner while we ate ours and I was able to have family mealtime. This time is special where we talk about our days and laugh and feed the baby. We took turns and my husband was finally able to be truly involved in the feeding process without a preceding pumping session. He could prepare the meal and feed it to him with no involvement from me.
Now people who know me know that I am a true food snob. From the time I watched Food Inc I changed my ways and said goodbye to fast food and conventional produce. I became a Whole Foods shopper and frequented local farmers markets. I do believe that Monsanto may in fact end the world as we know it if we are not careful with our approach to agriculture in this country. So clearly I was planning to make my own baby food.
I purchased the baby bullet after a failed experiment with my larger food processor. I like having the right tools for the right job and for me the baby bullet is just right. Carefully steaming carrots and peas and blending them to the perfect consistency for my baby is a joy like it is to prepare a meal for myself and my husband. I freeze remaining portions and serve them up as needed.
The first vegetable Brenton tasted was carrots. My kid loves carrots! The second food was peas and my kid loves peas! Then came avocado. My kid does not like avocado! At least not yet. I refer to it as our first fail because not only did he spit it out he also vomited. So no more avocado for Baby B for now.
There are so many rules to feeding babies that I never knew about. You have to feed them only one new thing at a time to watch for allergies. Common sense maybe, but it escaped me until I had my own child.
So far he has eaten, rice cereal, oatmeal, carrots, peas, sweet potato, banana, avocado, peaches, pears, prunes, and blueberries. As a side note when my baby eats blueberries it looks oddly like a murder has taken place and it is best of there are no clothes on except his bib. He likes to try to “help” with his hands causing the food to cover his face and arms. Sometimes it will wind up on his forehead or in his nose. I just laugh at him and he laughs back at me.
I can say I do not believe we have a picky eater, but my husband and I are adventurous when it comes to food. Only time will tell if he follows in our footsteps. Until then we will introduce new foods one at a time and see how it goes. Who knows maybe one day he will even try avocado again and like it next time
.
Everyone told me I would know when he was ready for food. They kept reassuring me, but I didn’t know. It was not clear to me. Sure he was sitting in his high chair holding his head up and playing with a spoon, but he did not clearly tell me he was ready. I believe it was I who was ready and we started with organic whole grain rice cereal.
After the first go we determined it was not time quite yet and waited another week. What a difference a week made. He moved the food to the back of his mouth and swallowed leaving barely a remnant on his bib. He grabbed the spoon and fed himself. This was what people meant. He was ready.
I was thrilled by his reaction to food and even more that he dropped one nightly nursing session. He ate his dinner while we ate ours and I was able to have family mealtime. This time is special where we talk about our days and laugh and feed the baby. We took turns and my husband was finally able to be truly involved in the feeding process without a preceding pumping session. He could prepare the meal and feed it to him with no involvement from me.
Now people who know me know that I am a true food snob. From the time I watched Food Inc I changed my ways and said goodbye to fast food and conventional produce. I became a Whole Foods shopper and frequented local farmers markets. I do believe that Monsanto may in fact end the world as we know it if we are not careful with our approach to agriculture in this country. So clearly I was planning to make my own baby food.
I purchased the baby bullet after a failed experiment with my larger food processor. I like having the right tools for the right job and for me the baby bullet is just right. Carefully steaming carrots and peas and blending them to the perfect consistency for my baby is a joy like it is to prepare a meal for myself and my husband. I freeze remaining portions and serve them up as needed.
The first vegetable Brenton tasted was carrots. My kid loves carrots! The second food was peas and my kid loves peas! Then came avocado. My kid does not like avocado! At least not yet. I refer to it as our first fail because not only did he spit it out he also vomited. So no more avocado for Baby B for now.
There are so many rules to feeding babies that I never knew about. You have to feed them only one new thing at a time to watch for allergies. Common sense maybe, but it escaped me until I had my own child.
So far he has eaten, rice cereal, oatmeal, carrots, peas, sweet potato, banana, avocado, peaches, pears, prunes, and blueberries. As a side note when my baby eats blueberries it looks oddly like a murder has taken place and it is best of there are no clothes on except his bib. He likes to try to “help” with his hands causing the food to cover his face and arms. Sometimes it will wind up on his forehead or in his nose. I just laugh at him and he laughs back at me.
I can say I do not believe we have a picky eater, but my husband and I are adventurous when it comes to food. Only time will tell if he follows in our footsteps. Until then we will introduce new foods one at a time and see how it goes. Who knows maybe one day he will even try avocado again and like it next time
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Unassisted Sitting
There are so many times I have said that I cannot wait until baby B does this or that, but the truth is I can wait. I can wait for him to walk and talk and all those things that lie ahead. For now I love him just as he is, a sweet chubby baby who coos and sighs and yawns in ways that melt my heart. And the giggle, forget about it!
The other day as we played with his toys while he was on his tummy, I watched him push up on his chunky little arms and kick his legs and thought that soon he would be crawling. My husband says he told me this was coming, but I am somehow in denial each time he does something new that the next something new is right on the horizon. So we moved to baby sit ups like we always do and sometimes he pushes all the way to standing. My boy is strong! Having no real frame of reference for baby strength this is my perception, but a few others have confirmed it as well.
I decided to see if he could sit without any help from me. This milestone is unassisted sitting. I let go and leaned forward slightly to rest on his hands to steady himself. To my surprise he did not topple over like he usually does. He miraculously and simply just sat there. I called to his father and said, “Look look, he is sitting.” Sure enough he looked up at his dad and smiled. He knew he had accomplished something new and special.
We all smiled. This was really impressive. Our baby can sit all by himself. Now we still have to get him into his seated position. I cannot imagine what it will be like when he sits up on his own.
Rolling is old news. We have seen him roll from belly to back since he was 3 weeks old. Yes that is right, our baby is amazing. We have it on video. I nearly showed our pediatrician when she laughed when I told her that he could roll, but I saved that as a special gift to myself. Only a few close family members and friends knew our baby was amazing and that was just fine with me.
When I think about all the milestones he has reached over the past 5 months I am amazed. It is just as astonishing as looking at his tiny sleeper that he wore home from the hospital. They grow up so fast. You hear that all the time for a reason because it is true. Watching them grow and change is like watching a miracle, but if I could take a minute to freeze time I would do that here and there just to make sure I take it all in and remember how I felt in that moment. The amazement, the wonder, the pride, the joy!
I will always remember that on April 19, 2012 at 3:57pm my son Brenton, just sat there!
The other day as we played with his toys while he was on his tummy, I watched him push up on his chunky little arms and kick his legs and thought that soon he would be crawling. My husband says he told me this was coming, but I am somehow in denial each time he does something new that the next something new is right on the horizon. So we moved to baby sit ups like we always do and sometimes he pushes all the way to standing. My boy is strong! Having no real frame of reference for baby strength this is my perception, but a few others have confirmed it as well.
I decided to see if he could sit without any help from me. This milestone is unassisted sitting. I let go and leaned forward slightly to rest on his hands to steady himself. To my surprise he did not topple over like he usually does. He miraculously and simply just sat there. I called to his father and said, “Look look, he is sitting.” Sure enough he looked up at his dad and smiled. He knew he had accomplished something new and special.
We all smiled. This was really impressive. Our baby can sit all by himself. Now we still have to get him into his seated position. I cannot imagine what it will be like when he sits up on his own.
Rolling is old news. We have seen him roll from belly to back since he was 3 weeks old. Yes that is right, our baby is amazing. We have it on video. I nearly showed our pediatrician when she laughed when I told her that he could roll, but I saved that as a special gift to myself. Only a few close family members and friends knew our baby was amazing and that was just fine with me.
When I think about all the milestones he has reached over the past 5 months I am amazed. It is just as astonishing as looking at his tiny sleeper that he wore home from the hospital. They grow up so fast. You hear that all the time for a reason because it is true. Watching them grow and change is like watching a miracle, but if I could take a minute to freeze time I would do that here and there just to make sure I take it all in and remember how I felt in that moment. The amazement, the wonder, the pride, the joy!
I will always remember that on April 19, 2012 at 3:57pm my son Brenton, just sat there!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Screaming
Screaming. It’s a new thing my wonderful baby has learned to do. He is not just good at it he is amazing. His talents far outweigh those of other babies. He is advanced!
We head up the stairs at about 7:15 and begin our before bed routine. Off with the clothes from the day. On with a new fresh diaper and a warm fuzzy sleeper. Next I nurse him in the rocker and when he starts to appear drowsy I put on relax and sleep.
Baby apps are very useful for many things but this white noise miracle is important. Nightly I give up my phone for my baby to sleep to the sounds of the rainforest, whale sounds, crickets chirping or the sound of the ocean and always a beating heart in the background. He sleeps and it allows us to watch television with the sound above ten.
This was fool proof until two nights ago when it began. The screaming. He specifically likes to start the moment I put him down to sleep. After the relax and sleep has taken hold I transfer him to his rock and play beside our bed. We are co-sleepers and never thought we would be. I was all about putting him in the crib by 6 weeks and now he is 4 months and one week old.
The minute his angelic face touches the rock and play the eyes pop open and the screaming commences. I rock him and still it continues. I talk to him in a soothing voice. No luck. I pick him up and rock him in my arms and he will stop for a moment and then start again. Turn on the magic ceiling fan and it will subside momentarily. We gave him gas drops and teething tablets and checked him up and down for something that could be causing this terrible drama. There was nothing to be found.
So I gave up. Or should I say I gave in. I went and got some ice cream while my husband manned the fort. We were in this together now. I put the baby in the bed and got in next to him and ate my ice cream with the TV on. He likes to watch TV and we do not usually let him, but these were desperate times. He calmed slightly and began rubbing his eyes. The screaming was winding down after 2 hours.
I nursed him one more time and then he was asleep in the bed next to me. I swore I would never bed share and that co sleeping was my limit, but honestly most of my woulds and shoulds have gone out of the window so it really was no surprise to me that this also fell by the way side.
A screaming baby will make you do things you never thought you would ever do. I wonder if they know this and in the baby meetings they discuss how to manipulate us for their own amusements. Clearly exhaustion plays a role as well given my musings. I would pay him to quiet and sleep if it would work, but alas all I can do is what I can do and bribes do not work and neither does reasoning. So I better stockpile some ice cream and get ready to bed share until this phase is over. I hear it only lasts until he is about 10!
We head up the stairs at about 7:15 and begin our before bed routine. Off with the clothes from the day. On with a new fresh diaper and a warm fuzzy sleeper. Next I nurse him in the rocker and when he starts to appear drowsy I put on relax and sleep.
Baby apps are very useful for many things but this white noise miracle is important. Nightly I give up my phone for my baby to sleep to the sounds of the rainforest, whale sounds, crickets chirping or the sound of the ocean and always a beating heart in the background. He sleeps and it allows us to watch television with the sound above ten.
This was fool proof until two nights ago when it began. The screaming. He specifically likes to start the moment I put him down to sleep. After the relax and sleep has taken hold I transfer him to his rock and play beside our bed. We are co-sleepers and never thought we would be. I was all about putting him in the crib by 6 weeks and now he is 4 months and one week old.
The minute his angelic face touches the rock and play the eyes pop open and the screaming commences. I rock him and still it continues. I talk to him in a soothing voice. No luck. I pick him up and rock him in my arms and he will stop for a moment and then start again. Turn on the magic ceiling fan and it will subside momentarily. We gave him gas drops and teething tablets and checked him up and down for something that could be causing this terrible drama. There was nothing to be found.
So I gave up. Or should I say I gave in. I went and got some ice cream while my husband manned the fort. We were in this together now. I put the baby in the bed and got in next to him and ate my ice cream with the TV on. He likes to watch TV and we do not usually let him, but these were desperate times. He calmed slightly and began rubbing his eyes. The screaming was winding down after 2 hours.
I nursed him one more time and then he was asleep in the bed next to me. I swore I would never bed share and that co sleeping was my limit, but honestly most of my woulds and shoulds have gone out of the window so it really was no surprise to me that this also fell by the way side.
A screaming baby will make you do things you never thought you would ever do. I wonder if they know this and in the baby meetings they discuss how to manipulate us for their own amusements. Clearly exhaustion plays a role as well given my musings. I would pay him to quiet and sleep if it would work, but alas all I can do is what I can do and bribes do not work and neither does reasoning. So I better stockpile some ice cream and get ready to bed share until this phase is over. I hear it only lasts until he is about 10!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Guardian Angels
Brenton lost his paternal grandfather before he was born. I was 6 months pregnant and stuck in the Charlotte airport trying to catch an early flight home to be at his deathbed with Rolston and the family. I found a rocking chair in D terminal and sat and rocked and waited for my not so much earlier flight home. I made it. I said my goodbyes before he passed that night a little after midnight. He lived a very full life to the age of 98. It was a peaceful passing and it was ok because we knew he was comforted knowing our boy was on the way and would continue his family name. There was comfort that Brenton had a very wise and loving guardian angel.
Two weeks later my beloved dog Tess got sick. I knew it was time to say more goodbyes. I was devastated. She was my very first baby before I even dreamed of baby B. I was so sad they would not get to meet each other. Tess was there for so many major milestones in my life. She was there when I moved out of my parents home into my first apartment. She was there when I graduated from college. She was there when I got engaged and then later when I got married. She was there every day in between loving me unconditionally. I was so lucky to have that wonderful creature in my life for 14 wonderful years. Brenton gained another angel to watch over him.
Now Brenton is three and a half months old and he has lost his paternal grandmother suddenly and without warning. This is by far the most difficult loss for all of us. My husband was completely unprepared to say goodbye to his mother and father in less than a year. The same year he welcomed his first born son into the world. Bittersweet does not even begin to address the emotional impact.
GMom met Brenton when he was born and we all spent his first Christmas Eve night together. She held him and changed his diaper and spoiled him with snuggles and kisses like all grandmothers do. We gave her a picture of him in a silver frame. She gave him gifts and some money for something special. “Maybe a toy box,” she said.
We really did not understand that would be the last time they would spend together. It was the last time we would all spend together except for a brief visit to drop something off one day. We believed we had much more time, but we did not.
I have spent time wishing I had taken pictures that Christmas Eve night, but I was busy enjoying the moments. I was watching our niece play with the toys we bought her. I was watching my husband play with her and think about the days when B is older and how exciting it will be to have the family together then. I didn’t think for one moment about the matriarch not being present.
I know she was a good mother to her son and her son loved her very very much. I know she was a good mother because her son treats me so well. I read once somewhere that if the man in your life treats you like a princess it is because he was raised in the arms of a queen.
That she is gone is still unbelievable in it’s cold truth. Somehow we will be sure she lives in our son’s memory even though he never got to know her. He will know at first she disapproved of his father and I dating, but later supported us like no one else. He will know she danced at our wedding with a big mother of the groom smile in a navy blue dress. He will know her kind spirit, but she also liked to gossip here and there. He will know her quirks. He will know her strengths. He will know she was important in our lives. He will know her family history. Most importantly he will know how much she loved him and that she watches over him.
Two weeks later my beloved dog Tess got sick. I knew it was time to say more goodbyes. I was devastated. She was my very first baby before I even dreamed of baby B. I was so sad they would not get to meet each other. Tess was there for so many major milestones in my life. She was there when I moved out of my parents home into my first apartment. She was there when I graduated from college. She was there when I got engaged and then later when I got married. She was there every day in between loving me unconditionally. I was so lucky to have that wonderful creature in my life for 14 wonderful years. Brenton gained another angel to watch over him.
Now Brenton is three and a half months old and he has lost his paternal grandmother suddenly and without warning. This is by far the most difficult loss for all of us. My husband was completely unprepared to say goodbye to his mother and father in less than a year. The same year he welcomed his first born son into the world. Bittersweet does not even begin to address the emotional impact.
GMom met Brenton when he was born and we all spent his first Christmas Eve night together. She held him and changed his diaper and spoiled him with snuggles and kisses like all grandmothers do. We gave her a picture of him in a silver frame. She gave him gifts and some money for something special. “Maybe a toy box,” she said.
We really did not understand that would be the last time they would spend together. It was the last time we would all spend together except for a brief visit to drop something off one day. We believed we had much more time, but we did not.
I have spent time wishing I had taken pictures that Christmas Eve night, but I was busy enjoying the moments. I was watching our niece play with the toys we bought her. I was watching my husband play with her and think about the days when B is older and how exciting it will be to have the family together then. I didn’t think for one moment about the matriarch not being present.
I know she was a good mother to her son and her son loved her very very much. I know she was a good mother because her son treats me so well. I read once somewhere that if the man in your life treats you like a princess it is because he was raised in the arms of a queen.
That she is gone is still unbelievable in it’s cold truth. Somehow we will be sure she lives in our son’s memory even though he never got to know her. He will know at first she disapproved of his father and I dating, but later supported us like no one else. He will know she danced at our wedding with a big mother of the groom smile in a navy blue dress. He will know her kind spirit, but she also liked to gossip here and there. He will know her quirks. He will know her strengths. He will know she was important in our lives. He will know her family history. Most importantly he will know how much she loved him and that she watches over him.
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