Monday, April 22, 2013

Watching From The Middle

Since our son is being cared for in our home by his father, he is rarely in large social settings with other children. He has occasionally gone to a La Leche League meeting with me but those children were older and he was not mobile yet. He has also been to family functions with older children and had one on one playtime with his friend Logan, so he is not totally isolated. Still, none of these settings really allowed him to show his personality as it emerged in a larger group.

Now that he can walk and get where he wants to be it is now fun to watch what happens when he is with other children. I tend to sit back and let him do what he would like to do as long as he isn’t getting into anything dangerous. We started music classes recently and at the demonstration session he went from a temper tantrum, to a calm child, to one who wanted to walk right to the middle and see what exactly was going on. He turned around to see everyone and take in what they were doing.

This is his way as of right now. He watches from the middle. It is an interesting combination of my husband’s natural tendency towards quiet observation and my need to be the center of attention.

It is difficult to tell if he is aware that he places himself in the center of a circle. I often find myself seated in the spotlight, so to speak, if there is certain lighting in a restaurant. This made me wonder if he is as drawn to the experience of being on stage as I am.

Now we have been to two music classes. Other children run and climb and jump and dance and shout with glee. Brenton rarely does those things. Instead he watches intently. Many of the other parents in the class and when we are out and about remark how intensely thoughtful and observant he seems to be.

He does have a very expressive face. It’s the eyebrows. They give him away. My son looks at me and claps his hands a few times and smiles when he is pleased that is about the most we get in large social settings.

Maybe as his verbal communication skills strengthen he will come out of his shell more and tell us what exactly he is observing and why he finds it so interesting. If you get my husband on a topic he enjoys he can talk for hours, but usually he is a quiet man. Unlike me, I am the talker in the family.

This weekend we went to a birthday party and again he went right to the middle and just stood there waiting for something to happen. Even with older children playing ball he endangered himself to get right into the thick of it. We held him back and he would head right back for the action.

I admire his resolve to head for the middle of the circle and his quest for knowledge. I call it brave. It makes me want to find more group activities for him, so he can explore not just his environment, but also himself. He is physically changing so much so fast and I wonder if I will see in him later what I see in him now. Will he still watch the world from the middle? I cannot help but to hope so because I imagine it will be quite a unique perspective.