As Brenton’s third birthday approached we anxiously awaited news from the school district to determine if he would qualify for an IEP and continue his speech therapy through preschool in the district. We had 3 separate meetings two involved testing and the final session was the determination meeting. The whole way to the meeting the day prior to Brenton’s third birthday I did not take a full deep breath. As we waited to hear the determination from the child study team I clenched my fists and worried that my sweet boy would not continue to get the services he needed to continue to find his words. I worried he would stumble and that I would not be able to help him in the way he needed. Then the lead said the words I had been hoping to hear for weeks and months…he qualifies for the program! I let out all the air in my body with a sigh of relief. They took notice and actually commented and I expressed how worried I had been and how relieved I was.
The news was he would start on December 2nd , a Tuesday, after the Thanksgiving holiday it would give the students a chance to regroup before his arrival. We would have a meeting with the teacher and also see his classroom and the other students. He would receive speech therapy twice a week just as he had been in our home for the past year and a half first with Lori until we moved and then with Suzanne his beloved “Aunt” as he called her who gave him dinosaurs and a special book for his birthday and graduation from early intervention. Even Aunt was relieved to hear he was in the preschool program and reassured us he would be just fine.
He would take the bus. The bus? Yes the bus. I was assured that he would love the bus and I was confident that this would be the case, but I did not love the bus. It was an idea that truly frightened me that my 3 year old could possibly get on a bus each day and go over 10 miles away from me each day. I knew I would cry on the first day, but I would not let him see me. I would smile and be excited for him and send him off with love in my heart.
On December 2nd with his new jacket, mittens, R2D2 backpack and specially selected first day snack, he boarded the bus and there were a few tears when he realized we were not coming with him. I turned as the bus pulled away and cried until I got into the house and then called to check on him and his wonderful teacher told me when she took him off the bus he was all smiles and ready for the day. As the days passed the tears became fewer and the resistance melted into small smiles and then waves and then “Bye Mommy” accompanied by a huge smile. It did not take long for him to get acclimated to the routine.
His teacher Miss Cheryl communicates with us daily via an old school composition book and I write back snippets about his nights or the happenings when he arrives home. We receive updates on the week ahead and what he has accomplished each day. She told us he quickly became the class greeter learning all the children’s names and waving as they arrived. He also claps for his classmates when they complete a task. These are the things I cherish because I hear it more and more how he is a warm and loving child.
He says hello and he smiles and he makes people feel good. We have heard this from people occasionally before and now we really see our gregarious boy with his amazing confidence blossoming before our eyes. Apparently when he gets off the bus in the morning he tells the bus driver to have a good day. She commented that he is a wonderful child and so happy. Of course he presents us with more challenges at home on occasion, but it is wonderful to see him succeeding in a new and social environment.
He is doing so many new things. He is saying a few small sentences. He says please and thank you or well “doh” his word for thank you. He is counting to five. He can match shapes and colors. He also pees on the potty at school. He is singing. He is finding so many new words and so much more confidence. He is truly blossoming.
He is also asserting his independence. He is willful and stubborn. He tests us. He pushes limits and boundaries. He loves his brother and he shows his emotions. He hides from us and refuses to brush his teeth or pee on the potty or put on his shoes. He is a three year old boy. He is full of energy and laughter and hugs and tears and so many more things. He is complex.
He is a person not just a child and I am realizing more and more what it means to raise a person. It is an abstract concept until you have children. It is daunting in many ways. I try to embrace it and do the best I can.
To me he is brilliant and special and I realize that he always will be to me no matter if he is the last to do something or the first or somewhere in between. He is my handsome smiling happy boy that I see as he gets on the bus each day when he turns and smiles and says bye Mommy. That is the face I will remember when he is older and a sullen teenager who is embarrassed by my mere presence. I will tell him when he gets older about his first day of school when he was 3 and how I knew then that he could do anything because he amazed me with his courage that day.
I am grateful I get to be there each day to put him on and get him off the bus and ask him how his day went. We play king of the mountain in the morning while we wait for the bus or chase each other around the yard or climb the tree or say hi to the neighbors walking their dog and in the afternoon I hold his hand as we walk toward the house where I have his lunch waiting. I know these times are precious and few. I will cherish them all as he grows up. Each day he shows me more and more of what he is capable of and I am so proud of him. I will carry these memories with me always especially that first day of school.
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