Measuring Time

My life is now quantified in a completely different manner now. During pregnancy I measured the time in weeks.  These weeks tracked the beginning of my baby’s existence. The first few days of his life were counted in my sleepless hours watching him sleep, then measured in weeks waiting for new milestones that those baby emails promised, and now finally at three months we begin to count months.

Today he is three months old.  He is now giggling, but still no belly laughs. Yesterday he made and L sound which was new and probably more exciting to me than it was to him. He also loves his hands very much. He could stare at them all day if they are not in his mouth.

It is all about baby B’s timeline in so many ways. First it is his daily routine primarily managed by my husband. When does he eat, when does he sleep and when does he play? It is all about his schedule in the moment trying to keep track of it all.  It was a group effort helping each other determine what works best. Ultimately Brenton decides.

In his first days of life Brenton was only wetting a diaper every twelve hours.  Those hours felt like an eternity because a baby is supposed to have wet diapers and if not something could be wrong.  Thankfully all was well and finally he went and went and has never stopped going regularly.  Even now if it has been too long since the last one a poopy diaper can make my whole day. It is truly surprising and gross, but very true. Another new truth is if he is content then all is right with the world.

Spending time watching him grow and develop is fundamentally fulfilling.  Me time became far less important.  Perhaps this shift occurs with all mothers. Perhaps I worry I will miss something. I count the minutes at the end of the workday until I can see his sweet face again. When he nurses at night, minutes feel like seconds as I enjoy our quiet time together.  Hours feel like minutes as I try to capture his perfect smile on film. And a minute feels like hours as I watch the look of wonder, excitement and sometimes even confusion on his face when he is presented with something new. Time is no longer linear.

Moments are so much more important now than they ever have been in the past. Time is so precious and it goes by so quickly.  After 9 months waiting for him to arrive and now after three months of his life, that is one full year. It was a glorious year. A year I rank as my best so far. A year I will never forget.  Still it went by in a flash.